The International Love Cafe Vol.3

By Dannette Lambert

'How about Japanese men?' The question comes in broken English and for a moment I consider cheekily answering, 'Sure I'll take one.' Instead, I gently suggest that 'what do you think of Japanese men?' might be a more appropriate question. If the questioner was of any other nationality I would think this was a come on, but since he is a Japanese man himself, it doesn't surprise me when he doesn't believe that I actually love,or even like, Japanese men. It seems that most people in Japan believe that foriegn women think Japanese men leave much to be desired. For me,nothing could be further from the truth.

Its easy to see where these assumptions come from. Almost everything foriegn women write on the subject seems to focus on what they percieve to be Japanese men's collective faults, while proclaiming that if you are a foriegn woman living in Japan you should prepare yourself for loneliness. Admittedly, I myself have been a participant of many lengthy gripe sessions lamenting the plight of single females in this country. Amist all the complaints and grievences it would be easy to miss the true root of our suffering: that we love Japanese men and are hurt by the idea that they might not return our sentiments.

After three and half years of living here I feel I have cultivated a great apppreciation for Japan's most underrated resource. While most people count the passing of time with the changing of the outdoor scenery, I enjoy nature of a different sort. Japamese men are beautiful, and each season reveals a separate aspect of their beauty. In the summer their lithe, tan bodies glow on sunlit beaches in shades of honey and brown sugar that make me wonder, 'Could you taste that sweet?' In the winter they are the cozily bundled packages that I wish to see under my Christmas tree. In autumn and spring you'll not find my eyes gazing up at the changing foliage, but firmly planted planted in the secular world of those stylish walking works of art that are Japanese men.

Perhaps this gushing diatribe has led some of you readers to conclude that my interest in Japanese men stems from somewhat shallow origins. Not true. Although my interest is peaked by any and all eye candy, what really turns me on is kindness, creativity, intellect, a laid back attitude and a willingness to laugh at life. This article would have never been written if I hadn' t found these things in abundance in the men around me.

The common stereotype of the insensitive and inconsiderate Japanese man in no way bears any resemblence to the men in my circle of influence. Because my best friend is a Japanese man who never fails to make me laugh and has a way of turning my biggest worries and fears into piles of dust that we blow away in the spiral of conversation. No Love Cafe recipe ever gets served without his approval and as we cook our laughter and love pour into the food. Every meal shared with him always seems just a little sweeter, a little tastier, as if I'd finally found that missing ingredient.

And every time I go to a party I never worry about getting too drunk, because I trust the men around me to take care of me, to not take advantage of the sitution. And every time I need a favor I always find a willing benefactor and I often wonder if its not I who am the inconsiderate one. My Japanese male friends are kind, funny and they've collectively gone out of their way for me on countless occasions. I feel blessed to know them.

Not to say that they don't have flaws. And amongst the entire population there probably are a few who are lacking in the finer charms. Indeed, I've met a few. I don't even mean to insinuate that they have anything over their Western counterparts. After all, people are people and we are all different, yet, all the same. But there are some truly outstanding men in this country and, somehow, they seem to feel that we women think differently. I just wanted to set the record straight and tell them that I, at least, love them.